Vodka
by Saphy16
Summary: Myrnin plus Oliver plus vodka! say no more. ONESHOT!
1. Chapter 1

**Me: Heyy everyone! Long time no see! (I used to be Tipsy14 but got bored and changed it)**

**Oliver: Your back. **

**Me: oh cheer up Ollipop!**

**Myrnin: Yay! A fanfic about me!**

**Me: Just for you.**

**Oliver: why make a fanfic about him for? Im more interesting!**

**Myrnin: Is Oliver jealous?**

**Oliver: I have no need to be jealous of you!**

**Myrnin: Sure you do, im sexy, good looking, smart, funny, ladies man, im insane!**

**Oliver: Insane is not a good thing you fool!**

**Myrnin: I make it work!**

**Me: BOYS! SHUT UP! Now lets get on with this!**

**Myrnin and Oliver: Saphy does not own morganville vampires even though she would love to and sorry for the idiots spelling mistakes!**

**Me: charming. **

Myrnin paced up and down his lab, it was a saturday night and he had nothing to do, Claire was out with that Shane boy and that Eva and Micheal, so he couldn't go bother her, Amelie was busy with paper work and had banned him for coming to see her for the next week! The only person let on his list was Oliver, 'I must be desperate' thought Myrnin has he left his lab and ran at vampire speed to common grounds, he was their within 5 minutes. Myrnin strolled into common grounds like he owned the place, he spotted Oliver behind the counter, it was a quite night, not many people around.

"Oliver, Oliver never before has a boy wanted more!" sang Myrnin as he stolled up the counter, Oliver greeted him with a glare and a grunt,

"Charming, so how are you this evening?" Myrnin asked with a wide grin which stretched from ear to ear, 'this is going to be fun'.

"I was fine until you showed up!" barked Oliver, clearly not in the mood,

"Is poor Ollipop in a bad mood?"

"What do you want Myrnin?"

"I just wanted to drop by and see my bestest friend in the whole wide word" said Myrnin, sarcasm thrown into every word.

"Go die!"

"Oh don't be like that baby" Myrnin reached over the counter and caressed Olivers face, Oliver pulled back immediately and growled,

"What are you doing you fool?"

"Showing the love!"

"Go take it somewhere else!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Come on Oliver, stop trying to hide it, we both know you want me" Myrnin gave a cheeky wink to Oliver, he was enjoying this, winding Oliver up was one of his favourite past times.

"Always knew you was gay Oliver" laughed Monica as she stood next to Myrnin. Oliver glared at her, that was on of the things they both had in common, they both couldn't stand the girl.

"What you doing here? Streets not giving you much action tonight?" spat Myrnin, 'this is going to be a good night' Monica glared at him,

"Shut up you idiot!"

"Coming from you?"

"What are you trying to say?" Monica clearly getting rather annoyed,

"Look, I'm not saying your dumb or stupid...I'm just saying I think you have trouble when you're trying to think."

"How dare you!" Monica stormed out leaving Myrnin grinning like an idiot.

"Well that was rather amusing" said Oliver, pulling out a bottle of vodka from under the counter and pouring some in to two glasses, Myrnin picked his up,

"Cheers" he knocked the drink down like it was water.

**Two hours later. **

"Will she ever love me?" Oliver cried, he was on his sixth glass of straight vodka, Myrnin was on his tenth, and it was clear to say, they were drunk.

"Stop your blubbering, I'm the one with the real love issues!"

"Oh just get over the fact that Claire loves Shane!"

"But I'm sexier" sulked Myrnin,

"Just keep telling yourself that!"

"Shut up!"

"I remember when you used to be fat!"

"Why bring that up?"

"Because it makes you self-conscious" laughed Oliver,

"Why was you so fat anyway?" asked Oliver as he poured his seventh glass of vodka.

"Because every time I fucked your mum she gave me a cookie!"

"You bastard!"

"You asked for it!"

"You dad should of stained the sheets! Not society!"

"Cheap shot!"

"True though" Myrnin grunted and downed his glass of vodka,

"You know what I hate most?" asked Myrnin,

"What?"

"That awkward moment when you're sitting in your toilet cubical minding your own business and BAM a unicorn busts in trying to sell you weed..."

"What the actual fuck..."

"Annoying isn't it?"

"Iv never had that problem..."

"Lucky you, it always happens to me"

"Your a fool..."

"A sexy one" Oliver rolled his eyes and started walked to the other side of the counter to get another bottle of vodka and then he tripped and whacked his head against the cupboard door.

"You fell" Myrnin stating the obvious.

"I didn't fall, the earth rotated incorrectly!"

"Sure..." At that moment Monica barged back in,

"The sluts back" stated Myrnin, Monica flipped him off and stepped up to the counter,

"Oliver! I want a coffee"

"We don't always get what we want in life" barked Oliver,

"Very true, I want to be a porn star but I don't see that one happening any time soon" grinned Myrnin,

"Are you two drunk?"

"Maybe a little tipsy...I would say drunk" said Oliver while he rubbed his head,

"Lightweights" sneered Monica,

"Skank" snapped Myrnin, clearly wanting the girl to leave,

"I'd call you a douche bag, but that would imply that you could actually get near a vagina!" and with that Monica stormed out again, Myrnin stared after her, mouth wide open, Oliver was in hysterics behind the counter.

"She got you there"

"Around four million sperm and you was the fastest?"

"Fuck off"

"Exactly"

**Me: Well I'm ending it there! Hope you enjoyed it! Review or I'll send Oliver to come get you! Mwahahaaaaaa! **

**Oliver: Do I look like your hitman? **

**Me: No you look like my bitch now shut it!**

**Myrnin: Oooooo! Review! Try and be nice. **


	2. AUTHORS NOTE!

**Heyy everyone! Well iv been through my old stories and found a lot of you are asking for tears of blood? Well basically what happened was that I had just started a new school after being out of school for two years, I was never really updating due to the fact I had a lot of work to catch up on for my GCSE'S! And plus I got writters block and wasn't sure how to carry it on! So I decided to delete it as I didn't want an unfinished story, as im nearing the end of year 11 now, I like only have less then 4 weeks now, and finishing my last set of exams! I WILL BE REWITTING TREARS IF BLOOD! Its going to be better and I have SO many ideas shooting through my mind! I cant wait to get started and for you all to get a taste of my crazy mind! Just be patient with me. **

**Loves! Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx **


	3. AN! again

**Please check out my new story! Love, sex, magic ! might be turned into a full blown fanfic! and I will be shocking you all if I decide to! But I need the reviews to decide ! **

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**


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